Today I failed.

Today I felt absolutely defeated, worn down, burnt out, and honestly like a bad mom. As I sit and unwind from the day, my mind wonders to all the "shoulda, coulda, woulda's".

I could have spent nap time tackling those baskets of laundry that we've been pulling from for at least a week now. I should have gotten up before my son this morning and gotten some work done. If I had started dinner earlier rather than sitting on the couch scrolling, maybe my evening wouldn't have been so hectic.

In between the failures of daily household chores, my son was being a typical 2-year-old tornado. Absolute destruction. If a toy bin was in sight, you bet it was being dumped on the ground. Meltdown after meltdown was occurring, all while my patience was on the verge of snapping. Did I respond with the grace I should have? No. Did I regret every moment of weakness? Absolutely.

We know that motherhood is hard and mom guilt is real. Somedays we burn out faster and harder than other days.

But did I really fail? Is that the label I'm going to stamp on this day...."failure"?

Productivity is a great thing. God wants us to work hard and steward our homes well. But is the accomplishment of tasks really how we evaluate our worth as mothers? Or how we evaluate our accomplishments of the day? I may look at the day as a failure because my to-do list has some unchecked tasks or maybe I was really productive in one area but fell short in another area. Either way, neither one of those are great tools to measure my success that day.

In between the chaos and tough moments of the day were moments of snuggles, and little laughs. In between the moments I deem as "failure" were moments of loving and serving my son and family.

We need to stop putting so much of our worth into what we accomplish. Yes, be productive but in a reasonable manner. Be willing to be flexible if your day doesn't go as planned. Be accepting of your choice to hold little hands rather than fold mounds of laundry. Be willing to give yourself grace and not look at yourself as a failure for what you didn't do. The grace that God so easily and willingly pours over us, we are reluctant to even give ourselves.

We accept the grace God gives us.

We accept the grace our children give us.

Let's do better about giving grace and accepting it for ourselves.

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"Out of his fullness we have all received grace in place of grace already given"

John 1:16 NIV