Fake or Just Private?

Last week I talked on my Instagram stories about people sharing the hard parts of their lives on social media. This all started when I came across a post on Instagram about a girl who said she unfollowed several of her favorite people because she found out that they had been going through hard times, but she never knew it because they didn't talk about it.

Let's get one thing straight, no matter how authentic you are, social media is simply a highlight reel of our lives. Agreed? Cool!

The example of her unfollowing, and other situations I've seen recently, got me thinking about how social media has made us entitled to people's lives. If we don't see the good, bad, and ugly along with the curated photos then that person is fake, right?

I'm not sure about you, but when I have gone through something hard, the LAST thing I want to do is post about it on social media. Not because I'm fake or I'm trying to maintain a persona that my life is sunshine and rainbows, but because they're private matters that I don't owe to anyone.

Let's get one last thing straight: this is a weird time we're in, right? Even though it feels like social media has been around for a LONG time, it really hasn't. Now, we have the first generation of people making careers out of being influencers and content creators on social media. So, I think some of this boils down to the fact that we are all still navigating boundaries on social media. Still figuring out how to share our lives authentically while still maintaining privacy. And figuring out what we want to see from others as well.

I think we can all agree we don't want to see too much of someone's life, but we want to see enough to be relatable and real. A tricky balance, eh?

Then, I posed the question on my Instagram stories: Do you expect people to share the hard parts of their lives on social media?

Many people said, no they don't expect that. Some had great conversations with me about the fact that it is hard not to expect to see at least a little bit of the hard parts, especially when someone chooses to share so much of their life. Not to mention, when we follow them long enough, we may begin to feel a part of their life.

I understand both aspects of that completely.

My opinion is this: when I follow someone, what I should be paying attention to is how I am consuming their content rather than focusing on what content they are putting out.

Let's ask this: When we watch our favorite content creators, are we consuming what they post for what it is, or are we idolizing their lives and assuming that they aren't human behind the screen with real human problems?

All in all, I believe it boils down to the way we set our expectations for people on the internet. Are we holding them to these high, unrealistic standards? Are we holding them above God? Are we checking our hearts before focusing on theirs?

So, how I'm choosing to move forward.....

When I find myself looking at someone's life and thinking it looks perfect and beautiful, I'm going to remember three things:

1. Social media is a highlight reel. Period.

2. Everyone on social media is an imperfect human, living an imperfect life on the other side of the screen, just like me.

3. Do I need to check my heart and ask myself if I am idolizing or putting people above God? But the last thing I'm going to do is expect them to share every area of their life on the internet. Consuming is my responsibility, not theirs.

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"For am I seeking the approval of man, or of God? Or am I trying to please man? If I were still trying to please man, I would not be a servant of Christ."

Galatians 1:10

"For where there is jealousy and selfish ambition exist, there will be disorder and every vile practice."

James 3:16