They'll figure it out

Have you ever seen the Baby Race Episode of Bluey?

If you haven't seen it, the plot is this....

Chili (mom) takes Bluey (her baby) to a mom's play group regularly. There, she sees another baby who is the same age as Bluey learn to sit, crawl and walk all before Bluey does. It makes Chili feel like Bluey is behind, or that she isn't doing a good job as a mom. So, she works tirelessly to get Bluey to walk. Chili then receives some wisdom from a seasoned mom. She tells Chili that not only is she doing a great job, but that kids learn at their own pace. She was very encouraging and honest, a friend all us moms need. At the end of the episode Bluey finally walks to her mom. It's a sweet episode and I definitely cried lol.

It's also super relatable for all moms and especially resonated with me. I don't like to necessarily view it as competition, but I think there is naturally a sense of wanting to keep up as moms and we have all fallen prey to feeling like our baby is behind because they haven't hit the same milestones as other babies. This mindset continues as they get older as well.

Are they reading at the same level as their peers? Are they socially adept?

Although it seems to be the better choice to remind ourselves that our kids are not the same as others and that they will develop at their own pace, that little voice can be louder than we'd like. The little voice telling us our baby is behind because our friend's baby is younger and already pulling herself up on furniture. Or our kindergarten should be reading at this benchmark, and he isn't, so there is something wrong or we're doing a bad job.

However, the other day I felt like it really hit me how kids will just figure things out on their own, with our loving and gentle guidance and encouragement.

Over this last summer, I worked a lot with my son on pumping his legs on the swing to swing himself. We tried every time we went to the playground. I found myself feeling defeated that he wasn't getting it because, again, I felt like this was a skill that he should know at this age. I watched other kids his age and younger on the playground hop right onto the swings and start swinging without any help. It may seem small, but this was one of many things in my time as a mother that I felt defeated and lost over. Another time that I worried I wasn't doing all I could to help my child with mastering something new.

Fast forward to now, February.....We were at the playground, and he hopped on the swing and started pumping his legs, without any prompting from me. He said, "mommy look, I'm swinging myself!".

He was so proud, as was I, and it was a moment of clarity for me. All those months of working with him, encouraging him and sometimes maybe even pushing more than I should.....he just did it! He figured it out, out of nowhere!

This wasn't the first time either, it was just the first time it really clicked for me. He did this with riding his bike too! One day, after a lot of working with him, he just got it.

All this to say, that yes, we should help our children and encourage them in trying new things. But ultimately, we need to not be so worried if they're at the same level as their peers. We can find comfort in the fact that more often than not, they will figure it out, it just might not be in the time you expected them too.

***I want to add, that I don't think that milestones should be ignored all together. They do serve their purpose as guidelines for how your child is developing. At a certain point, there may be a need to investigate further if your child is not hitting a milestone. that is up to you, your spouse, your motherly instinct and pediatrician.

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Side note.....

It's funny to think about how the timing of our children accomplishing something, is never when we expect.......

Ironically enough, God's timing for us is also never when we expect......

Kinda goes to show that we have a skewed idea of when things should happen in our life, huh?